Submarines and Astronauts

Cells in your body shuffle around - un complot

This time, like so many other times,

they gather into a platoon of submarines

firing directly within.

Your thoughts become illegible

Your emotions incomprehensible

You lose, always.

And begin to float.

You float like an astronaut blasted out of their shuttle.

You float in complete darkness.

You float.

Tu flottes

A bubble of time takes you to selective spaces known to your unconscious

landing on Jungian archetypes

mère-père

Who no longer penetrate your thoughts.

You've mourned them.

Reconstructed the self

cell in and cell out

to be loved, loving, love

                                       amour toujour

Starring ahead

A window reflects a past

looking back.

Hands in pocket, suit and tie -

It fathers [père] the memory of a once thought dream.

But what catches my eye

is the telescreen

framing a heart.

It reminds me of that day we talked.

Your silhouette became clear as you told me - elle est morte.

The cupboard of the kitchen were flung open,

much like the doors in Friedlander's picture.

As I searched for the hidden cigarette pack,

my shadow angled by the sunlight

triggered back the dream I once had.

To tell mother

I love her.

But I don't do any of that

I can't love her. Don't

look       at     me       like -

What?      You don't know about my combat

with the one you want to love and hold you so much.

one that left you

over and over

alone

over and over

encore et encore

I trusted and held out a hand

kept thinking this isn't it.

Je ne vis pas pour ça.

Cells in my body shuffle around - un complot.

This time, like so many other times,

they gather into a platoon of submarines

firing directly within.

I float like an astronaut blasted out of their shuttle.

I float in complete darkness.

I float

navigating through currents that keep me warm.

Je flotte